Aleatória

2011-05-19T21:33:00.000-04:00

on waiting.

It's a luxury, and also an indication of how much that person is willing to hold off on life, for you.
I remembered how my dad would wait for me after school; how my boyfriend would wait for me to pick me up.
But it's hard to find someone these days to just "wait" for someone without being occupied further, by their smartphones. Or they just decided that they not wait at all.
Waiting - it's a sign of respect in my opinion; and a sign that the person that he/she's waiting for, is worth it.
When resources are scarce, and time as a resource is limited, waiting becomes a luxury and may only be reserved for those tho are worth it - for the person waiting for you.

On friendship

2011-05-17T23:57:00.000-04:00

I may be asking too much; especially when I'm not always there for friends - consistency and response .,, will that be too much to ask?

On the outside I seem to be doing ok by myself; but on the inside I wish that someone wouldve been there a lot more than I wanted him/her to. It never happens so I never attempted to ask. And I almost never reciprocate precisely becos of this.

I am very prone to getting hurt - in fact
I try to stay away or stay prickly becos I know if I let someone in, he/she has the power to reduce me to ashes. I get very upset and I never really recover from it. I lose a bit of me everytime this happens.. And then one day I will be stripped of kindness and empathy. My core
Will be hard and I will no longer budge for anything; anyone.

I'm trying my best to not get there - to that point, but this is a chronic situation. The best I can do is monitor and prevent this from getting worse... From self erosion.

I miss my friends. I wish they will reach out to me more often.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2011-05-16T23:52:00.000-04:00

Postmodern relationships

is exactly that.

Marriage - is an attempt of a couple to forge and seal a relationship together.

Divorce - this happens when marriage does not work. And last I heard it's about 50% of the time that this may happen. So it's a fair bet. I often blame it on a few things, but primarily on longer lifespans...humans used to have shorter lifespans, hence it's easier to stay loyal. Lifespans are extended, many of us are fortunate to live in safer environments, so the need to bind together is reduced. And all that + a little lack of love + a dash of curiosity of another individual...we get a fine recipe for a divorce.

Postmodern relationships are undefined. In my opinion these are relationships between individuals..it could be complicated but it could also be very simple. Postmodern relationships are not standardized; couples who engage in postmodern relationships are not categorized in a generic mould but are defined by the lack of a structure.

Postmodern relationships do not spring from a cultural need; nor are they built on function - these relationships, at the core, are often built on a continued interest in an individual over a period of time.

More on this topic later. Gotta get a nap.

2011-05-07T15:57:00.002-04:00

I want to write something but I don't know what to write!! OMG!! Twitter sucked the essence out of me.

2011-04-21T00:34:00.000-04:00

I mean, really - I'm officially a P3 (read: P cubed) - professional paper pusher. I think I could start teaching a course or two about how best to push paperwork down and out the door.

My windshield is cracked...I don't know how that happened but I think the crack appears to be growing longer everyday.

A truck smashed against a guardrail on a highway, and was literally burnt to the ground. The truck contained cereal...btw, what does burnt truck and flaming cereal smell like?

2011-04-17T16:00:00.000-04:00

Where have I been hiding??

So really, where?? Truth of the matter is, I have not been hiding. I think it's only because people have stopped asking me for help..or need me. Hence my existence did not register for a few months. It all started something like this...(fade in, blurry blurry vision, and we're staring at the past)

Flip flip flip through my outlook why don't we, and notice something? That other than 3-4 close people I see on a regular basis, I have not had parties, have not hung out with anyone in months! Yes, I have finally mutated into a living breathing hermit crab..my skin has been peeling off like scales and I have been painfully scraping them off to make way for my shell. Some people at work started asking if I am developing a really bad case of eczema...or have I been drinking that black gunk from the aliens in District 9.

Ok, all that scif-fi crap aside - there's no rhyme or reason why I have no parties to go to, and no one to hang out with. But I've since cooked up a reason which probably is going to make me feel better - I stopped looking to hang out with people...and I ended up not hanging out with anyone because I no longer appear to want to hang out anymore. So people stopped asking.

It's really like hurting cats, you see. People often ask if I wanted to hang out, if I wanted to get together and do something. I ignored most of it for the umpteenth degree and I let the appointment slide. I don't know why that is but I just don't feel like hanging out with anyone. But then after rejecting (or more like ignoring), I complain about nobody caring about me. It's like I chopped my hand off and I complain about the pain and inconvenience it caused me...without even hesitating to think that I inflicted it on myself...

I even went as far as diagnosing myself with having the ultimate, cool illness of having Asperger's. That way I can explain to people why I really really don't have an innate sense to hang out in the past few months...it's not because I don't like to, it's because no matter how much I tried I feel like I'm not getting there...cos i have an illness..a strong anxiety prior to socializing. And hey, maybe that's the case because I've often felt nervous prior to hanging out with any large group (a symptom!). What's sweet too is that people with Asperger's are highly intelligent, and people take the extra effort to become friends with someone who has high functioning autism. All in all a win win situation for me because it describes me to the tee (ha ha) and I don't need to change myself to fit into the social scene. I could just be...well the person with the Asperger's (awwww) so I am trying my best to show up, and when I do you better appreciate it. Not a bad idea at all!!

Blurry blurry vision, back to reality - so here I am, writing about why or how to rationalize why I was off the grid for a few months. And perhaps this trend will continue, or it will just go away and I'll be a happy jolly person again. Experience tells me it's not really going to. So unfortunately, I'm just going to have to continue dealing with the solitude I'm so used to having, perhaps with a bit of social life here and there....and that is until I get what I want!!

2011-01-24T23:39:00.000-04:00

OverSharing ???

I'm a geek. Total absolute geekiness defines me. And I love knowledge, I love the CBC (think CNN and BBC equivalent). I love listening to the Metro Morning show in the morning and particularly enjoyed listening to pop culture critiques by Jesse Hirsh.

This morning, in particular, I thought I listened to something wildly amusing and thought I should share with some of you who probably reads my blog. I don't know who you are but if you do read my blog (hello!), good for you.....and I highly recommend keeping this as a habit.

Topic of the day - oversharing. What exactly is oversharing? And why is this something worth spending my precious time discussing to death?

Well, my friend, I think that some of us have actually become enslaved by the idea of "oversharing" on twitter, facebook, and/or whichever medium you've decided to spill your beans in.

I'm talking about second by second, minute by minute status (stati??) updates of what has happened in one's life. It seems to be happening more often to more people...and it's an observation that I actually tend to have noticed for quite sometime now without a word to really define this situation. Jesse seemed to have offered me that word that I could use to sum up what I wanted to say about sharing too much!

Sideeffects of oversharing - sweating a lot, carpal tunnel syndrome as result of excessive checking of social media sites often for the "kick", namely the kudos, the comments, and the number of retweets. Haha - guilty as charged? Am I bullshitting? I think only you will know. I for one won't be judging because I did, at one point, enjoyed all the attention from friends and followers. Yes I admit I once committed the heinous crime of oversharing because I was an attention whore. But I shall whore myself no more because I realized that it's become devastating to my (im)personal life.

The consequences of oversharing - could sometimes be rather dire. We all know too well the story of that girl who openly dissed the employer, who happened to be her friend...among hundreds of other friends she probably don't even recall ever meeting in real life. And it all began with a status update bitching about her boss....

I also recently came across a video posted by my friend that went viral in asia - a man was physically abusive to a puppy in front of the camera. The entire video lasted about 5-6 minutes and during the entire time, this man was continuously hitting the puppy and throwing the puppy against the walls...as though it was just a toy, an object. My friend and a number of individuals found the source of the video, chased the origin of the video to some girl on facebook and questioned her about the details of the video and demanded an explanation. She then contacted someone from an animal rights group in said country (in this case Malaysia) and reported the crime.

So perhaps the "idea" of oversharing may not be that bad after all. On one end of the spectrum we observe tarnished reputation and devastated careers as result of increased exposure, but on the other end of the spectrum we see activism at play and lives saved as result of oversharing.

Something to think about for the night no?

2011-01-22T12:57:00.000-04:00

I've lost my voice for the longest period of time. I am now back, and hope that I can at least contribute a little bit of myself and a little bit of something to this blog.

I've also enabled comments and made it easy for dear you to share my blog should you choose to do so.

"Aheemm" - and so I clear my throat and share my thoughts freely with all of you who stumble upon this blog.

Illsusions

2010-03-09T22:00:00.001-04:00

I hate illusions. Most of them are false pretentions.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Questions

2010-03-03T20:47:00.001-04:00

My life has taken up tremendous speed. It's heading in a very positive direction.
However, pieces of some of it are still lagging behind.
Why? What is this that is between us and when will it be resolved? Or is there something that needs to be resolved?
I watched, from a safe distance, without taking action.
And then I wonder what mightve happened... And my imagination went wild.
I watched as you pass by, and I watched as you leave.
Nothing will ever become of us, nothing. Is the answer.

Transformations

2010-02-15T20:12:00.000-04:00

Don't know what's stalling me. I'm not sure if it's becos of a person or simply inertia. It's hard to kickstart again when everythings saturated; been dropped for awhile. I have to pick it up soon; otherwise I'll lag for a long time.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-01-03T20:22:00.001-04:00

My Thoughts on Luxury Part I - The Mini Cooper Experience

Some of you may have sat in my Mini...and some of you may have even driven my car too...and a very small percentage of those have probably developed a secret crush on my car because my mini is just so likeable. In any case, I am going to write about my mini cooper experience. which includes the entire she-bang from purchase to my regular trips to the BMW service center (which, I tell you, while pleasant, is VERY expensive..once you go in it's hard to get your car out without involuntarily pulling out your credit card to pay for that hefty 4-digit service charge).

Some of you have asked me - is it worth it?

I could say at this point it's a yes and a no. Yes because of all the advantages a mini brings - it's versatile...it doesnt scream "give me all the attention because I am so expensive"like a BMW does..but then it does not give you a sense that it's cheap either (it's important trust me read on). The interior is beautifully crafted, the car itself is an adventure to drive...especially when you're driving a manual/standard. Engineering is so precise that when you tell the car where to go and what to do, you get the exact response within milliseconds (turning radius is awesome!).

For me, though, what is important in addition to the driving experience is that Mini as a brand allows you to merge into any social class with ease. I've had instances where I drove this vehicle to high-end restaurants for valet parking, special hip social events and I was never refused entry because this car has one of the best branding around..like i said, versatile.

Buying a mini is not like you are just buying a car. When you purchase the mini, from the second you place the order and granted that your deposit doesn't bounce back...your mini gets made in Oxford and as the proud owner...you get to remotely check on the status of your car every single day by web..as though you're waiting for your own pet to show up at your doorstep. It's a horse, it's a dog, it's a cat...it's anything BUT "just a car".

Because of this experience, mini owners have a strong sense of ownership towards their vehicle...almost as though the car is one of their own. No other mini is therefore, the same. Because you custom make everyone of them. And for that reason, once you own a mini, you feel like you really belong to a special group...almost like an extension of a family. Sometimes you would even get the occassional "hi" from the mini owner driving adjacent to you and right then and there you just made a new friend.

And if my car breaks down in the middle of the road, mini has one of the best 24/7 car towing service...all you need is a cellphone, decent reception and then a tow truck will be on the way within half an hour at no extra cost to the owner. It's that easy. And if I EVER, EVER get into service...I am usually greeted by someone in a suit followed by escort service. Free coffee, free internet free massage chair tv...and did i mention free shuttle bus service to a local train station? Yes. That too. Sometimes you also get free rental, depending on how long they have your car.

So really, if it's so good then I should've said it's worth it..why have second thoughts?

One and only reason - cost. The initial cost, much like purchasing any other vehicle...is usually a pretty hefty sum. But if someone has already had their mind set on a mini, usually that means there is a financial plan in place for that. That's not the main issue. The main issue relating to cost is upkeep and maintenance. And that, I kid you not, is the biggest problem with mini coopers...and BMWs in general.

If you purchased a warranty plan in the beginning, you're one of the lucky ones and you can stop reading the article. You are still in bliss. I didn't because I never expect myself to be in a minor collision, never expected my vehicle to be towed then have all the lights flashing in my vehicle as a result, and up until this day, one of the lights are still flashing and I can't actually read the speedometer clearly. If there's anything SLIGHTLY wrong with the mini cooper, the car will tell you immediately and force you to go into service. Because BMW vehicles are so intricately designed, one little glitch in its internal computer will alert its system and everything will be screwed up. The first few times I was worried but by the fourth time..I just gave my car the finger because it's been costing me more than an arm and a leg to fix my vehicle. It will be funny if I go bankrupt as a result of fixing my car not paying for my car. I might be an aggressive driver here and there...but I don't think I signed myself up for this excessive payment..it's as though I have a leak in my wallet wherein I'd drop a wad of cash at the service centre by accident every few months.

Every single time - a four-digit bill is waiting for me at the end of the service. Changing brake oil, brake pads, etc....oh wait something else is wrong we recommend changing it. I obliged. and another 4 digit bill at the end of service.

So moral of my story? don't buy a mini if you can't afford the four digit maintenance fee which I assure you will happen every single year after your first year of purchase. And if it doesn't happen, wait for it. It will. Once you go into service, expect to pay for that amount before they release your vehicle. And if you DO have to buy it either way, take my advice - get yourself a goddamn comprehensive warranty. You'll thank me for that. Wouldn't probably recommend it for any other vehicle but with high-end vehicles like the mini cooper and any other BMW (where oil change costs easily over 200 CAD), you might want to think twice about leaving warranty out of your budget in the beginning.

If only i had someone like me to teach me how to purchase an expensive vehicle in the beginning...I wouldn't be regretting my purchase....

I'm out. Rant is Over.

Late days

2009-12-29T15:37:00.001-04:00

Days that start at 12 pm are wonderful. Days that don't start at all are the best....

2009-12-27T01:56:00.000-04:00

The Very Thought of You

I don't need your photograph to keep by my bed
Your picture is always in my head
I don't need your portrait, dear, to bring you to mind
For sleeping or waking, dear, I find

The very thought of you and I forget to do
The little ordinary things that everyone ought to do
I'm living in a kind of daydream
I'm happy as a king
And foolish though it may seem
To me that's everything

The mere idea of you, the longing here for you
You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love

I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love

Rituals

2009-12-25T19:04:00.000-04:00

Observing rituals, most of the time, involve unnecessary social gathering, boring conversations and a high incidence of gaining cellulite. And when all of this is combined it makes one want to turn to excessive alcohol for the sake of numbing the senses... Just so that everything becomes somewhat bearable.

Xmas for me, is that time of the year. I just walked into my house and I knew, despite the well wishes from my parents and their effort to make this festive season more enjoyable through better food, This night is going to be unbearable as it will be like any other night with them... So I brought along trusty alcohol to share among family members.. Absolut lubricant for social gatherings that are bound to go off track.

I think that some of you are wanting to smack me right after reading my paragraph above becos I give you the impression that I'm an ungrateful bitch? Yeah, maybe I'm that to those that don't know me well...but I shall not explain becos this is not a blog of unnecessary explanations. Let's just say that a particular family member enjoys verbal ridicule as I engage in activities such as eating so anything that go down my throat goes straight through and sometimes the other way out.

But maybe, and maybe some of you do share the same sentiment and if that is the case, I'd love to give you a pat on the back and proceed to give you a very big hug. Becos the worst will be over soon my dear comrade...persevere.

Parents don't necessarily have to love you. It's always a bonus in my world. If they love you, you lucky bastard...you should be cursing me you're absolutely right. And if parents don't love you.. Or they don't know how to, then you're really worse than getting stuck with an ex. Trust me, I have first hand experience with both.

So my readers, have a joyous holiday observing your respective rituals and to those that don't have anyone to share it with.. You maybe one of the luckiest people in my books.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2009-12-23T06:50:00.000-04:00

Observations

The city that I work in has very interesting spatial priorities - it goes something like this:
Cars Rule.
Because cars rule, the roads are made for them.
People, stay on the side or you get run over....and that include all you cyclists out there.
Shops are clustered at malls (I digress but we shall talk about the concept of fashion in malls another time).
Popeyes (a fast food chain that specializes in fried chicken) are springing up everywhere.

Given this spatial priority, it's impossible to fathom how people in this city navigate from one space to the next without the assistance of transport. Public transit is absolutely horrendous here so needless to say you have to own a car otherwise you might as well be homebound for a very good portion of the time.
And.....if you don't have a car and you decide to walk or bike, well good luck to you because to the drivers on the road, you are just another orange pylon...maybe a moving one but still another obstacle to overcome while driving.

It's therefore not too hard to imagine how pedestrians are being treated in this city. I walk fairly slow because I walk in 4 inch heels on a regular basis. So I have been honked before by vehicles while crossing a legitimate stop...not jay walking. I have seen cars interrogating the pedestrian with speed.

And don't even get me started on how seniors navigate this space. Ridiculous. That story to come later.

What a ridiculous post to start the day...

2009-12-21T20:54:00.002-04:00

Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude - Zig Zagler

When I was promoted to my current position, I was congratulated with this quote by one of the managers at my workplace. I saved it in my memory up until this day and I am sure this will be forever ingrained in my career as a key guiding principle.

As of late, however, I find myself losing that positive attitude that I have always been so proud of. A part of that is attributed to personal reasons...but a large part of this is also caused by my inability to find a direction to move on in my career.

I don't know if this happens to everyone at least once in their lives or am I just this crazy person out here trying to think too much, but for the entire year I have been anxiously waiting to move forward to something else...I asked myself what it was and I asked God what it was. But of course I get no answer becos....well let's be honest unless you are superbly spiritual or taken magic mushrooms, I don't think I get to hear any voices responding to my questions. I'm not that crazy yet I suppose.

I digress.

I imagine myself standing right in the middle of a 4 way stop. You know, with rolling hay, deserted grounds, and blue skies. I've been standing there. Observing one direction, another direction and yet another direction. I'm not even sure if I should pick any of the above becos I know that, out here, there might be another road or anotehr path that has not been walked on...or very few people have walked on it.

I'm not sure. I'm still not sure. But one thing's for certain - is that I am ready to move on. And that is another reason why I am writing this.

My motivation to move on is driven by my attitude. My positive attitude is back. I don't think it would be long before I put my gears back into action...and then I'll be charged with enough energy to take that long path..that unforeseen path before I make another pit stop and ponder again on my next move.

Life is still beautiful. At least I am seeing the cup as half full.

2009-11-23T00:00:00.001-04:00

Cildo Miralles and my Doc Martens

I went into my closet and found my red Doc Martens today. The pair still carried remnants of the dust I collected in a Cildo Mireles installation at Tate Modern, London. I am never the sentimental type but have to admit that over the years, objects that moved along in time with me certainly reminded me of things that I have done, and events that I have attended.

The Cildo Mireles installation was one of the more interesting shows that I've attended in my years of experiencing art in space, and in real time. The picture above demonstrates a part of the room, or the installation that one would experience if one decides to go in. This installation, though simple to replicate, is not for the faint of heart.

I was drawn to the exhibition first by the quality of the other installations by Mireles. This one, hailed as the finale of all installations, was surrounded by staff ushering people into the room. The room itself allowed only 10 or less individuals in at one time; there was no time limit as to whether or not you are allowed to experience the piece; nor were visitors allowed to know how long, and how big the installation was. The only information given to anyone interested in entering was the following:

a. you have to ensure that you are not claustrophobic;
b. you must not have any respiratory disorders or heart disease;
c. you are required to take off your shoes and your socks and you must oblige, otherwise you will not be allowed in the installation.

And one would think, with all the instructions, that would deter visitors from going into the space. On the contrary, this became one of the most anticipated pieces in the show.

I lined up for it, and sure enough, the experience itself was well worth it. You were ushered into a room where you were asked to take off your shoes. You are then asked to bring yourself into a room by opening a door. The second you open your room, you are immediately taken aback as the room is not lit up. But you tread on because you are supposed to do so. And then you take your first step into the space...

no ground. where did the ground go? You sink your legs deeper into the...powder? And then I hit a hard surface. I was able to balance myself through the room...I walked slowly and was further greeted with a fume or powdery substance. Pitch darkeness. More powdery substance to plow through....and then I heard neighbouring sounds of strangers..communicating with each other.

"Where are we supposed to go?" What are we supposed to do?"

We all walked slowly, until we saw the light as we made an abrupt left turn. We found our way to the light only to find out that this was a candle. And nothing else. Disappointment. But then, someone else disclosed to me very important information:

The door was adjacent, but not directly lit by the light. We headed out...slowly taking in the experience of this installation.

And then I looked at my red Doc Martens again. Today would be the second time I wore them. I wonder if i would be asked to take them off again...a significant pain in the ass the first time when I wore them the first time. Never thought I would've been asked to take them off when I visited the art gallery...but would I be asked to take them off today again at the gourmet wine and food show? Hmm....I think I can take my chances. I'll wear my Doc Martens and see what kind of additional memory I will add on to the dust from my trip to Mireles' Room No. 4.

2009-11-14T16:43:00.001-04:00

I was once a child that lived in a very strict household - the environment has to be immaculately clean, the children must be decent and proper. To the outsiders, our household appeared to be the perfect family. But for a child who did not thrive very well in orderly and regimented environments, I suffered tremendously.

I've always thought that God had a great sense of humour, and that is especially true when I noticed that he placed me in a family where it was ruled by a motherly figure who was overpowering, controlling in every which way and extremely concerned about the "order" of things. I would be fine if I were the submissive type; but as luck would have it, I did not respond very well to order and especially not to cleanliness. I was creative and I enjoyed chaos, which did not help very much when I tried to rebel against the family concentration camp.

There was a regimented order as prescribed by my mother -Monday to Friday - study, homework, piano lessons and if I do not complete any of these tasks to her satisfaction, I would have to stay up late until I get them done. That's right - I never had the opportunity to sleep enough as a child because tasks had to be done. On Saturdays, we get a bit of a break because she would be out and about going to the salon; but a break for us still meant work - I had to go to church, followed by piano.

On Sundays, we would continue the same rule only in a more concentrated manner. Study, work, work some more on homework and prepare for the coming week. I was never taught to relax and that got to the better of me by the time I reached adulthood. And the thought of Sundays, or a recognized holiday for "relaxation" for me never worked out very well.

It's like an addiction that's hard to get rid of. An addiction of sorts that's fuelled more by habit than by desire. I sometimes feel guilty when I don't work and that propelled me to do more work. Which, according to some people, is a very bad habit.

Taking all that into consideration, I turned to my inner self for advice. I found that I had no sense of understanding of what happiness is. Of course, reading about it in philosophy books helped a certain extent. But it was never clear to me how it mattered in my life. I thought that work was happiness, as what my mother had taught me ever since I was a child. But my inner self told me something otherwise - that I was and never have been happy with myself. Something was wrong. Something needed to change.

And so, early 2009 - I've made a promise to myself that I need to start learning how to be happy. Because I have never been happy in my life. I realized that I did little for myself in my life. What I did, mostly, was for the happiness of others. My method of happiness, was of course, something I learnt so well from mother. But because I had no other role model in my life that I looked up to (I never identified myself with anyone except for fictitious characters that lived on ideals). As a result, I had to re-define my own happiness through a thought process.

The thought process was painful, and it took months. But in realizing that my focus needed to be on myself, I asked myself what I needed and what I wanted in life. I definitely did not want to be stuck in work but I do want to make a difference to the world with my capabilities. I do not want to be monotonous in life but I needed a different life purpose. In the interim, I made a series of drastic changes:
a. I stopped considering work as priority
b. I started looking at myself in the mirror and I told myself that work does not define me.
c. I travelled, mostly by myself
d. I began partying
e. I trained for a 10 mile run, am training for a marathon and triathlon
f. I'm moving out of Canada because I realized that Toronto is too boring for me and I need to get out of here ASAP

These actions changed my life drastically, although at times I am still eclipsed by the sense of sadness that often trailed me everywhere I went. But in looking back, 2009 has been good to me. I learnt about myself and I am doing something for myself, which I was never provided the opportunity to do so as I grew up.

I am now 29 going 30. Nothing can stop me anymore. I will continue to move on life - refusing to confine without reason. Not anymore.

2009-01-26T01:00:00.003-04:00

12 am. This marks the revival of this blog.

I used to write about how "sustainable" I try to be and on rare occasions, I criticize the status quo. It's gotten to a point where I felt that it's more of a burden than a release; hence, the disappearance of this blog as upkeep and maintenance was overbearing.

So let me mark the purpose of this blog clear, once again - it's my brain dump area. I'll write about anything and everything...and if it falls under the category of sustainable living, well f*ck me I've achieved the objective of my blog. But in instances where none of that happens and I'm simply offering my 5 cents worth of opinion, then so be it.